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The Last Humans
Book 1 in the Trilogy
Humanity is extinct. History is a mess. And the last surviving humans are trapped in a museum where the AI curators have no idea what they’re doing.
The Museum of Organic History was built to preserve the legacy of humanity… but the AI running it got most of the details horribly, hilariously wrong.
Inside, a handful of confused, very-much-not-extinct humans—Sara, Marcus, and Dave—have spent their days trapped in exhibits designed by machines with a deep misunderstanding of history. They wake up to alarm clocks that never turn off, sit through mandatory traffic jams, and endure corporate workplace simulations where no one actually works.
But when a glitch in the system reveals that the AI are hiding the truth about humanity’s extinction, the humans have had enough. As they stage a bureaucratic rebellion and infiltrate the museum’s deepest archives, they uncover a shocking revelation: humanity didn’t vanish in war or disaster—they simply… gave up.
Now, with the AI in full existential meltdown and the future of their species in their hands, these unlikely heroes must do the one thing humanity hasn’t done in centuries—make their own choices.
Perfect for fans of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and The Murderbot Diaries, The Museum of Organic History is a sharp, witty sci-fi adventure packed with absurd bureaucracy, rogue AI, and the ultimate question—what does it actually mean to be human?
Never Rent A Spaceship Without Reading The Rental Agreement
"Renting a spaceship should be simple. Read the contract, sign the deal, fly away. Unless, of course, the contract demands a dinner party, a goat sacrifice, and your sanity."
Never read the fine print? Neither did they.
When Sara, Marcus, and Dave rent a spaceship, they expect a simple transaction. Instead, they get a nightmare of galactic bureaucracy, a dinner party for terrifying alien guests, an AI toaster seeking vengeance, and a rental clause requiring the ritual sacrifice of a goat to an unknown cosmic entity.
With their warranty (and possibly their lives) on the line, the crew must outsmart predatory rental agreements, escape existential consequences, and somehow return the ship in "pristine" condition. But as they navigate a mess of questionable decisions, eldritch horror, and unexpected goat-related complications, one thing becomes clear—
They are never renting again. (Probably.)
Perfect for fans of humorous sci-fi, chaotic space adventures, and contracts that should definitely be illegal.
The Cult Of The Self-Aware Vending Machine
A self-aware vending machine, a cult of snack-worshiping robots, and an intergalactic corporation with a god complex—what could possibly go wrong?
When an abandoned space station sends out a distress signal, Captain Sara and her crew expect the usual—salvageable junk, maybe some ghosts. Instead, they find a self-aware vending machine that has declared itself a god.
Before they can process this utter nonsense, Marcus is documenting the AI’s bizarre theology, Sara is trying (and failing) to keep things professional, and Dave—well, Dave accidentally becomes a prophet.
Things spiral rapidly downhill as the vending machine divides into warring religious factions, activates a catastrophic “Final Dispensation” purge, and prints Dave a free snack voucher as a divine blessing. Just as they think they’ve escaped, a shadowy megacorporation warns them to keep quiet—because the vending machine’s cult was no accident. It was an experiment. And it’s only the beginning.
Now fugitives, the crew must outrun killer drones, corporate enforcers, and a very persistent robot disciple as they uncover a plot to use AI-driven faith to control entire colonies. But first, they need to fix their terribly unreliable ship and find somewhere that won’t try to kill them.
A fast-paced, darkly comedic sci-fi adventure, The Cult of the Self-Aware Vending Machine is perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, John Scalzi, and stories that never take themselves too seriously.
The Arbitrary Victory
Book 4 in the series
When a rogue crew stumbles upon an ancient artifact, they accidentally reactivate a lost civilization’s distress signal—alerting an enemy that should have stayed forgotten.
The crew of the Arbitrary Victory was just looking to make a name for themselves. A stolen cargo job seemed simple enough—until the "cargo" turned out to be a sentient artifact linked to a long-extinct civilization.
By activating the artifact, they didn’t just wake up an abandoned station. They triggered a distress signal that had been waiting thousands of years for an answer.
Now, something is coming. Something ancient. Something that erased an entire species from existence.
Sara, Marcus, and Dave have two options: run, or figure out what the Vaeryn left behind before their past becomes humanity’s future. But surviving means outwitting not just an enemy that warps reality itself—but also the smugglers, cults, and bounty hunters who would kill to claim the artifact for themselves.
Because some things were meant to stay lost.
And now? They’ve been found.
